Wrestling or Cartoons?
by Rachel McN
Summary: Fight for the TV remote! Mainly dialogue, I just typed as it came to me.


"It's my turn!"

"I said give it"

"But it's _my_ turn"

"Mikey, your turn has been the past three days."

"So?"

"So why don't you let Raph choose the program today?"

"But it's a cartoon marathon, and I _always_ watch those"

"Gimme the damn remote"

"Make me"

"Who do you want to go for?" sighed Leo.

"Well I doubt I could take down Raph, but I also seriously doubt that I could take down Mikey when a cartoon marathon is at stake."

"Don, you have to have more confidence in your abilities."

"I do. I'm confident that I'll be able to fix the TV when they end up breaking it"

"You know that's not what I mean."

"Gimme"

"Have to catch me first"

"You little-"

CRASH

"And there goes the TV. See, I have prophetic abilities as well."

"Um…"

Don sighed "Never mind. A prophet is someone who can predict the future"

"Oh, then I predict that soon the coffee tables going to go."

"You'd think they'd realize that no ones going to be watching anything until I've fixed the TV"

"Maybe they think so highly of you, that they expect it to be fixed when they stop fighting"

"Ha! That'll be right"

"Or maybe they're just too caught up in their fight to notice…"

"I vote the second option. By the way, I'm not fixing that table, you are"

"What! Oh, okay. Maybe they won't break it they'll just avoid it and -"

CRASH

"You were saying?"

"That's it; I'm stopping them before they can cause anymore damage"

"Rather you than me bro"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence"

"HAND IT OVER!"

"Turtle titan never surrenders"

"Good thing sensei's out for the weekend"

"Really? You sure? Okay, how do you suggest we proceed? Tackle them and risk getting a broken arm? Tidy up after them as they go and wait until their strength runs out?"

"Nope, separate them now before they do anymore damage"

"Oh. You know, I wasn't being sarcastic about that last option"

"DON!"

"What? Better safe than sorry"

"Give it – ugh, mmkey, git yer fit oot ov ma mooth…"

"OW!"

"Yuck! Raph, don't eat his feet, you don't know where they've been"

"I do. All through the sewer water"

"Phleah! Yuck!"

"YES! The remote is MINE!"

"Not while I'm here!"

"And so, the fight ensues…"

"Come on Don, I can't separate them on my own"

"Then who were you going to tackle?"

"Whoever you don't go for"

"You want me to take Raph, don't you?"

"He doesn't fight you"

"Uh…huh…"

"Besides, he's afraid you'll take his shell cycle apart if he does"

"He is?"

"Yeah, but don't tell him I told you that"

"One, two, three…"

CRASH

"What was _that_?"

"I'm betting the lamp"

"They managed to break the _lamp_!"

"Yep. You never noticed that before? You'd be surprised what I end up fixing in a day"

"Look, Don –"

THUMP

"And the chair. What's the bet for the DVD player next?"

"Uh, ten to one"

"Good odds, I'll take it"

SMASH

"There's going to be nothing left of the lair soon"

KERTHUMP

"They're getting worse"

"Ouch. That looked sore"

"GET – OF – ME!"

"AH!"

"YOU BETTER RUN"

"Sibling love"

"So uncommon"

"Maybe that's why it doesn't exist between those two"

CRASH

"YEOOW!"

"Oh, Klunk. Did they wake you up?"

"Kind of hard not to be with that racket going on. Klunk's just lucky the couch didn't crush him"

"Uh, guys?"

"They're too busy to notice us. How about I make us some tea for when we clean the place up?"

"Sure thing. Black please, no sugar"

"I know how you like it, Don. Better bring Klunk, in case he gets caught up in the fight again"

"What happened to 'break them up before they cause anymore damage'?"

"It became too dangerous"

CRACK

"What went this time?"

"Uh-oh. I'm in trouble. It was the remote. They're going to be after me to fix it now."

Leo laughed "Hey, good luck with that."

"Thanks, you can be my shield"

"WHAT!"

Don ducked into the kitchen holding Klunk. "Either that or lock the door quickly"

Leo thought about it for a fraction of a second, then decided locking the door was in his best interests.

SLAM

"Let us IN!"

"DON!"

"Don! …"

THWACK

"OW! That _hurt_"

"Well, shut up then. I can't stand you"

"DONNIE! We need you to fix the remote"

Raph looked over his shoulder. "And, um… and the TV too. And probably the lamp and the table…and the DVD player…and…."

"I get the idea" replied Don, from behind the safety of the locked door.

"You going to fix the TV and remote?" whispered Leo.

"Not a chance. At least - not yet"

"Donnie! Open the damn door!"

"Open up! Let – us – in!"

The door shook as it was rammed from the outside.

"If you're going to tackle the _door_ like that, then there is absolutely no way _I'm_ coming out!"

"I don't even think they realize I'm in here"

"Lucky you, Leo…"

"LET US IIINNNN!"

THWACK

"For christ's sake – SHUT UP!"

"But -"

"Shell, I'm glad we're not out there"

"Meow"

"You too, Klunk?"

"Hey guys. Uh, what are you doing?"

"April!"

"You can fix stuff right?"

"What a time to visit"

"I wish her good luck"

"Leo!"

"At least they won't tackle her"

"Hey Raph! Mikey! Whoa. Did you guys trash this place or what?"

"I was going to watch the cartoon marathon, but _Raph _wanted to see some stupid wrestling match"

"A wrestling match ain't stupid. It's watching kiddie cartoons that's real dumb"

"Hey Casey, what do you say? Wrestling or cartoons?"

"Don't answer that Casey."

"If you whisper Don, he isn't going to hear you"

"Yeah, but neither will Raph and Mikey"

"Wrestling, easy"

"So what you're saying is – you trashed the lair because you couldn't decide what to watch?"

"I'm going out before they land themselves in more trouble"

"Right behind you. And I mean _behind_ you"

"Coward"

"Thank You, Casey!"

"WRESTLING? There are cartoons at stake and you choose _wrestling_?"

Leo slipped out, quickly followed by a cautious Donatello.

"Whatever you do, don't choose between cartoons and wrestling" Don advised April

"Who wants to watch cartoons? They're for toddlers"

"Hey, I don't know. I mean some cartoons are quite cool. Like X-men. Hey Mikey, is X-men in this cartoon marathon?"

"Yes, of course they are" Mikey sounded offended "What, you think I'd pass up X-men?"

"_Casey_…" Raph growled "Pick your side…_now_"

"He's just digging himself a bigger hole"

"April, back away now"

"Why?"

"_Casey_…"

"Uh…"

"_X-men_, Casey. 3 **solid** hours of mutant cartoony goodness…."

"Umm…"

"Sweaty wrestlers, pitting their pure strength against each other in a fight to the finish."

"Eh…."

"It doesn't matter what they pick" breathed Leo, "The TV's already trashed"

"Don't let them hear you say that, or they'll hunt me and April to the ends of the Earth to get us to fix it"

"So I'm on maintenance duty? I just got here!"

"Casey, pick."

"_Cartoons_"

"**Wrestling**"

"Uh, can't you just tape one, and watch the other?"

"Oh - bad move Casey"

"Seems you're going to be here a while, April. If you're leaving with Casey, that is"

"Seems like a sensible suggestion to me."

"Never suggest simplicity when they fight over TV time"

"AARRGH!"

"Hey! I – Oof!"

"You –"

"TAPE my cartoons! TAPE the marathon! It must be enjoyed _during_ the time that it is on! DURING!"

"Then some stupid news reporter would announce the outcome of the match! It takes away from the whole point of watching the thing!"

"Just don't watch the news then! And get of me!"

"Casey just doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut"

"I've never heard him utter such sensible suggestions"

"Too bad they are in the wrong place at the wrong time, oh, and to the wrong people"

"Don't mess with my cartoon time!"

"_Your_ CARTOON time!"

"When did I get involved in this fight?"

"OW!"

"GET OFF!"

"OOF! YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!"

CRASH

SMASH

THUMP

"**OW**!"


End file.
